2009 November | Confessions of a Canadian Stripper

Rachel Uchitel: Just Another Whore in the Fame Game If You Ask CG

Posted November 30th, 2009 by CG

Rachel Uchitel, a party girl with a hunger for fame, and apparently pretty good at giving hummers according to a couple of boys in the New York Yankees locker room.

She also might have a reputation for being promiscuous too, and it is that alleged promiscuity that has brought her to the attention of those with enquiring minds, therefore her  retaining of women’s right activist Gloria Allred as her attorney.  The hiring of Allred is merely another vehicle for Uchitel to ride in her quest for fame and fortune. In my opinion it is anyway.

Confessionites could be forgiven for thinking that there might be a little something going on between the thighs of Rachel and Gloria when it comes to the motivation  for their hook up , but CG believes that the relationship between the power attorney and the Manhattan hose bag is strictly professional.

Hmm…There is so much I want to say about Rachel, but my attorney says I need to mind my “Ps” and “Qs”, something about making my veiled defamatory comments   just asking for trouble.  Like get real; she’s out there and asking for others like myself to make assumptions about her, and offer up opinions.

You know what though, I don’t give a f***, and anything I say about the sleazy fame hunter has in my opinion anyway,  already been said by somebody else somewhere on the worldwide web, am I right or what Mario?

Since Tiger Woods had his motor vehicle accident after what was supposed to be Thanksgiving celebrations at his two-and-a-half million dollar home, rumors abound, including one that the world’s greatest golfer himself had to actually rise up and defend himself against not only to his wife, the very beautiful and sexy Elin Nordegren, but to his fans around the world.

According to Tiger, he did not have an affair with that woman, that woman being Rachel Uchitel, she who lost her fiancée investment banker Andy O’Grady, in the World Trade Center attack eight years ago.

Yeah, yeah I know, saying such a thing is a little cold-hearted, mean spirited if you will, but both Rachel and I know that her hook up with O’Grady and that “wedding thing” wasn’t what she was making it out to be, that she actually saw his death as vehicle to fame and fortune and that she was going to use it for that, not that there is anything wrong with that.

You do what you got to do for that dream of living on Easy Street, and if my girlfriend at the time (a hot looking horny waitress she was) died in that terrorist attack, yeah I would have played it up for the press if it meant I could cash in and hook up with celebs feeling sorry for me.

I truly believe that Rachel Uchitel used the death of her fiancée to do some gold digging and f*** celebs like David Boreanaz and super sports stars like Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez.

Don’t get me wrong; I feel for her loss, but at the end of the day, she milked what happened to her fiancée for all she could get, and dare I say, probably still is.

I bet she has a reputation for being easy, and you know what else, I wouldn’t be surprised to see a photo of her with her head under a table she is sitting at with a member of the opposite sex; you know the act of “giving head”.

All CG is saying is that this skanky and sleazy Rachel broad’s lifestyle has finally caught up with her, and that she just might be a woman who has little regard for women that that might be actually in a relationship with her conquests, you know, a home wrecker.

Let me just add here that, this attention she says she doesn’t want, well let me just say she is full of shit.

The media attention she is getting in the wake of the “The Tiger Woods Incident”, negative publicity or not, is exactly the kind of attention she has been gearing for since she first saw an opportunity to milk her story for fame and fortune back in 2001.

Rachel Uchitel, whether she f***ed Tiger or not, gets around.

My advice to those ladies that travel in the same circles as Rachel, if you haven’t thought about putting your husbands, fiancées and boyfriends on a shorter leash, now might be the time to start thinking about it.

Trust CG when he says, “Rachel is going to ride this latest fame train into the pants of many more high profile men, if only to keep the media interested in her, and of course the big bucks she can make from sleeping around with any man, or woman for that matter,  who has deep pockets.

Michaele and Tareq Salahis, if it was not for the fact they were gatecrashers, would be nobodies looking to wannabe somebodies still.

Instead, and for the time they have left of being “Les Idiotes Du Jour”, the Salahis are going to do whatever they can, to cash in on what could very well be the beginning of the end of, the footloose and fancy free lifestyle they have lived.

Yes, they are selling their story before the ending has even been written, and get this, that ending could mean some serious jail time if the feds choose to prosecute.

You know, it is against the law to lie to a federal agent; which is exactly what the Salahis did, and should they face charges and are successfully prosecuted, then they should not be allowed to cash in on what amounts to a serious criminal offense.

Crime isn’t supposed to pay, remember America?  Funny how the Sahilis think they can, and its too bad somebody somewhere doesn’t have the balls and smart enough lawyer to prevent that from happening. I’m sure there is a legal argument that can be made to prevent the Salahis from cashing in, and a maverick lawyer is looking to make a name for him or herself, might want to look into how that can be done.

The Salahis, as far as CG is concerned anyway, are no better of a human breed than grifters, what with the record of number of lawsuits they have been a part of for unpaid bills. No way should the crime they committed be allowed to be used as a path to easy living for them. It would send the wrong message to others, like copycats for example, don’t you think?

The Salahis shouldn’t be allowed to cash in on this stunt, and you know what else, that Michaele broad doesn’t look like reality TV material to me. F*** her, tattoo an “L” on her forward, and maybe put her in the Big Brother house, but that’s about it.

Arena rock chick wants reality TV show

wants reality TV show

Rock chick Lita Ford is pitching an idea for a reality TV show about her life on the road, and you know what CG is thinking, that yeah, that sounds like a good idea. Sure, why not, use your kids and your husband to cash in a little, to you know, prolong your shelf-life Lita.

Good f***ing plan baby, but aren’t you afraid your fans might find out just how much of a “bad parent” you really have been when you drag your kids from performance to performance on that tour bus of yours.

Oh yeah, what a f***ing life Rocko and Elmo have had to live up until now, huh, and to think Lita wants to put that lifestyle on the small screen for all to see.

Lita is f***ed in the head people, and she needs to find an alternative way supplement the income she is making from her fizzling rock career.  She has been around for how long now, and she still can’t afford to ditch the tour bus.

The f***ing woman needs to smarten up when it comes to what is good for her kids when raising them, something I’m sure more than a few people have told her over the years, especially her parents.

Lita Ford wants a reality TV show, like go figure, and that isn‘t what I would say is in her childrens’  best interests.

The fading arena rock queen is yet another person in a long line of idiots who think the ride to Easy Street starts and ends with a reality TV show.

Don’t get CG wrong, the premise is good, and it might even work for her, but at the end of the day she isn’t really thinking about her kids, now is she? You know kids are, and when mommy dangles that fame and fortune thing in front of their faces, you know Rocko and Elmo will be all for that plan.

This reality TV show she is pitching, apparently it won’t be full of wild antics because according to Lita, “Everyone is clean and sober and nobody drinks a damn thing except for a glass of wine before the show and that’s it.”

Hmm, on second thought, the show might turn out to be boring. I retract my previous statement that a reality TV show might work for her.

Radaronline.com is reporting that the Knight Rider, David Hasselhoff, suffered a seizure and that his daughter Hayley had to come to his rescue again.

Hmm, given David’s alcohol problem, you know that, “I’m going to drink myself comatose thing” he has got going on for himself; I’m not surprised to hear that he has ended up in the hospital again.

Nope, I’m not surprised, and you know what else, I won’t be surprised to hear in the future that his love for the grog has killed him or somebody else. That is the path “The Hoff” is on people.

Unfortunately, for him, there doesn’t appear to be much anybody can do about it, not unless somebody wants to kidnap him, toss in a padded room for a few months until he sees the light, you know, “the error of his ways”.  Then again, other than his daughter, nobody cares.

If there were to be an intervention by the way, a straightjacket would be a good thing to have on hand, and maybe even a stun gun; not that a drunken Hoff would be able to fight off anybody in the drunken frame of mind he is often in.

Yes, the Hoff has drunk himself into the hospital again. It’s the same old story for his daughter Hayley; she sees her father’s eyes rolling back in his head, he’s drooling, he’s incoherent and she has to dial 9-1-1 to get him help for “that seizure” somebody is now claiming he had.

The Hoff didn’t have a seizure, he just drank himself into oblivion, perhaps even mixing his drinks with his “scrip”, and you know those pills he is taking to make him feel better about himself and those around him.

Nevertheless, the Hoff is back in hospital because of his drinking. I wonder how that liver of his is holding up by the way, if cirrhosis has set in yet.

So Arsenio Hall, what if she was sitting on your face and she cracked a giggle, would you have gotten a golden shower?

You know what Confessionites, I don’t have much use for people who kiss and tell, how about you?

Hmm, things that make me wonder, “Why in the f*** would Paula Abdul want to hook up with the not-so-funny Arsenio again, like is she that wired on pills and booze or what?  She must be desperate, that’s what I’m thinking, but then again how could that be. I thought men would be busting down her bedroom door to get into that party babe, but I guess not-eh?

Arsenio Hall, like come on Paula, you can do so much better. The former cheerleader can spread her legs for me anytime. Fire off an email to CG baby, and let’s make it happen girl. You know you want to.

Speaking of sharing a bed with Paula, did you hear about the 55-year-old Vietnamese man who was so lonely after his wife died in 2003 that he slept on her grave for about a year and then eventually he dug her up and moved her corpse to the bed they once shared. Like did he get a little intimate with her too?

The father of seven was so in love with his wife that, in 2004 he molded clay around her remains to give her the look and figure of a woman, put some clothes on her, and then place her in his bed. Wow, he really loved and missed his wife didn’t he?

Le Van freely admits that he does things differently, that he isn’t like normal people, the proof of course being the extremes he went to be reunited with his wife.