2010 February | Confessions of a Canadian Stripper

Lindsay Lohan Stalking Former Lover Samantha Ronson

Posted February 27th, 2010 by CG

Be very afraid Samantha Ronson

I don’t know why anybody isn’t picking up on this part of the Lindsay Lohan Soap Opera, but  if I were Samantha Ronson I’d be more than just a little concerned about Lindsay following me around–hanging out where I work, waiting for me to finish work, shit like that.

I would also be a little worried about her losing it on me in a drunken violent kind of way, what with the way she carries on after she washes her drugs down with a few Red Bull and vodkas.

Go ahead, someone come into Confessions and tell me that Lindsay Lohan isn’t stalking Samantha Ronson, especially after what went down this past week in Los Angeles.

Last Tuesday Lindsay could be seen rolling into Bardot in the wee small hours of the morning to harass her former “girlf***”, who was doing her DJ thing.  Samantha, so concerned about what Lindsay might get up to, asked that security stick close to her–to keep an eye on her.

Party Planning

The previous night Lindsay followed Samantha to Teddy’s at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel, where she requested, but was denied a table near the object of her drunken and drug-fueled desires.

One witness describes Lindsay as being very drunk at the time.

Confessions is wondering if maybe it is time for Ms. Ronson to start packing a “rod”, you know, one of those ones that runs with gunpowder and not batteries.  I could her put a bullet in the bitch in self-defense, really, I could.

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Like Wham! Says 40,000 concert goers

Britney Spears f***ed up when she brought her circus to Australia, and the fans let her know about it. From what Confessions has heard, her performance in The Land Down Under hasn’t done her any favors in America, something about her thinking twice about pulling that lip-synching bullshit there.

And Whitney Houston, like what a f***ing drugged up disappointment that so-called “Comeback Queen” has been for Aussies too. She couldn’t sing a song, hold a note, or bust a move if her pathetic life depended on it, but George Michael, like WOOHOO, HOO, F****ING HOO.

He may have arrived at the Sydney Football Stadium 40-minutes late because he got caught in traffic, but he delivered on his promise of providing 40,000 fans with a good night.

Yep, after 12 years, and a couple of bad arrests for his “alternative lifestyle”, he sang live, hit all the high notes and yeah, he brought the house down.

All The Rage Online

If anybody walked out in the middle of his show, or left the stadium as disappointed as Whitney and Britney’s fans did, Confessions hasn’t heard about it. Not yet anyway.

Michael is the most played British artist on radio during the last 20 years. He has sold more than 100 million albums, has had six No. 1 hits in the U.S., 11 in the UK, a Grammy, three American Music Awards, 2 Ivor Novello awards for his songwriting, and an MTV Video Award, all of which hasn’t put him on that high horse, both Britney and Whitney have been riding throughout their careers.

When it comes right down to it, George Michael puts Britney and Whitney to shame in Oz.

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Confessions hates stuck up lyin’ bitches like Beyoncé

Last week I went off on Jay-Z’s hatchet job on Youth Group’s Forever Young, including a mention of arrogant I think he is, and I might said something about him being a piece of shit. But you know what, behind every “piece of shit” is his female counterpart, Beyoncé Knowles not having to work hard it, that and the arrogant thing she has got going on for her too.

Like is she a stuck up c*** or what, and f*** me I hate her songs, songs by the way that if it wasn’t for the money that she and Jay-Z spent to buy off radio stations to get them to play them over and over and over again, wouldn’t amount to too much on the pop charts.

When you have their kind of money, it’s pretty f***ing easy to turn lyrics you buy or steal from somebody else, into a top ten hit, or, as is usually the case with some of the commercial shit Beyoncé puts out these days, a number one hit.

Let’s be realistic here, other then shaking what her mama gave her, there really isn’t much else when it comes to how talented Beyoncé is, and thank God for technology, you know, Auto Sound software and Photoshop. Without either of those tools at her disposal, she wouldn’t be able to make her singing sound as good as it does, and she certainly wouldn’t look as hot in the photographs as she does in all those  rag mags she appears in. Take the make-up off the girl and you have, well let me just put it to you this way, if I had a dog with a face like hers, I’d shave its ass and teach it to walk backwards.

So anyway, it appears Beyoncé might be up to her old tricks again, you know, taking credit for ideas she had absolutely nothing to do with, like that guitar riff in that Destiny’s Child hit Bootilicious. That’s right, putting that into the song wasn’t her idea, in fact, rumor has it that other than singing the song, she had nothing to do with it otherwise. Boy, if that revelation turns out to be true, wouldn’t that make her look like a liar in the eyes of Barbara Walters, the woman she told in an interview that the song was her idea.

BEYONCÉ, YOU ARE A TALENTLESS, LYING SACK A SHIT, BUT I THOUGHT YOU WERE PRETTY GOOD IN THAT AUSTIN POWERS MOVIE

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Another fried performance from the diva

The Famous Karaoke Channel Store

Whitney Houston should pack up her shit and get the f*** out of Australia before she makes a bigger fool of herself than she already has in her Brisbane and Sydney shows. Since her plane touched down in Oz, she has been more trouble than she is worth to those who have been at her beckon call, bending to her every whim.

She hasn’t exactly been that wonderful warm person she comes across as being on talk shows, magazine and television shows either. She has been quite a bitch apparently, starting out with that little hissy fit she threw upon her arrival after her limousine was like two minutes late, and then there is the tiny tirade she let loose with on an unsuspecting and harmless passerby. What colourful and abusive language that was I hear.

Nobody has been able to figure out what is going on inside the diva’s head, but one thing is for sure, she has been behaving in a state other than normal, and to somebody like me, a person who over the years has had a few drug addicts on his caseload, there is no doubt that Whitney Houston is on drugs during her stage performances.

Of course, unless she provides me with a urine sample, there is no way I am going to be able to prove that that is what her problem is, but that doesn’t mean that local police shouldn’t check her shit out, after all she could be traveling interstate with illegal drugs, if they aren’t prescription, in her luggage.

As was the case in Brisbane the other night, her show in Sydney disappointed those who paid almost two hundred bucks to see her perform, but instead of falling apart at the start of concert, she fell apart halfway through her performance. I’m telling ya, she was f***ed up on drugs, and I’m sure anybody that was close enough to the diva during her concert, will concur sooner or later. In the meantime, things aren’t looking up for Houston on her comeback tour, at least here in The Land Down Under it isn’t looking that way. Unfortunately for her though, she just can’t pack up her shit and leave, not unless she is prepared to reimburse that of which she has been paid up front, and then of course the contract she signed.

Whitney Houston is definitely not feeling the love in Australia, and for good reason. Like one fan said, “She couldn’t entertain a dead rat.”

SHE’S A JOKE, AND SHE’S MAKING A FOOL OF HERSELF.

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Like Miss Beverly Hills really takes the Bible seriously

It says in Leviticus that if a man lies with mankind as he would with a woman, then both men have committed an abomination, and they shall surely be put to death and their blood shall be upon them.

No shit, that’s what it says in the Bible about gay men, but God didn’t write it. Somebody delusional, and probably on hallucinogenic drugs thought that shit up, that’s what I think anyway.

I’m not aware of anything remotely the same being said about lesbians in the Bible, but then again the closest I get to a Bible is when I’m in a hotel room with a woman, and I ain’t in there to read. Maybe lesbians are okay in the “Good Book”, or maybe it was just an oversight on the authors part. Nevertheless, I am not aware of any reference to lesbians in the Bible, not that I care anyway.

I wouldn’t have known that that is how God feels about homosexuals, and to be quite honest with you, I have my doubts that that is how he feels, but if Miss Beverly Hills 2010 Lauren Ashley says so, then who am I to argue. God isn’t the author of the Bible is he, she or whatever sex God is, right? He was just somebody’s muse, wasn’t he?

Get up close and personal with the Girls Next Door

Forgive my ignorance, but I don’t know shit about the Bible, and I hardly think Lauren Ashley knows much about the Bible either, otherwise she wouldn’t be exploiting her “sex appeal” to advance in the cruel and unfair world we live in. What is it she does again, exhibit that which her mother gave her, or should I say what God blessed her with, nice titties and good looks, all of which she keeps hidden in tight fitting jeans and revealing tops.

Yeah, it sounds and looks like to me like she’s a real Bible thumper, one who eats, drinks and sleeps what the Bible says.

Confessions does think that this beauty Queen, unlike Carrie Prejean, will chew Perez Hilton up and spit him out if he decides to take her on the way he took on Ms. Prejean. I don’t think he has the balls to do it though.

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