Celebrity Convictions And Lawsuits | Confessions of a Canadian Stripper

Tila Tequila Was Drunk and Disorderly, Judge is Going to Toss This Lawsuit

Having spent something like 20+ years serving drunks at the bar, I know how obnoxious and careless they can get, and from time to time, in fact more times than I can count, I have had to toss those drunks out of the establishment, or have somebody do it for me. Usually I did it myself though, and you know what, I had no qualms about physically removing, manhandling if you will, a drunken women.

San Diego Charger Shawn Merriman; he needed me serving him and that slutty reality TV star Tila Tequila drinks the night he removed her from his home for being a drunken bitch.

Anyway, he didn’t throw her out onto the street, choosing instead to escort her to a waiting taxi, but the way Tila is telling it, it sounds like he was brutal, that he went out of his way to cause her physical harm.

That’s what happens to the good guy when he ends up removing a drunk for safety reasons and for their own good.

He gets the blame for using too much force and causing injuries. It is never the drunk’s fault. I know, 20 years in the bar and hotel industry, remember?

So anyway, Tila wants to get even with her ex-boyfriend, and she is suing him for what she says was a choke hold ,and not letting her from leaving his property. LMFWhiteAO at the drunken whore. Whom is she trying to fool?

She got drunk, became obnoxious and rude, perhaps even cruel, and when she was asked to leave, or maybe she wanted to leave, the shit hit the fan and she ended up looking like a bitch who was on the receiving end of some minor injuries (I once cut my finger while drinking at a friend’s house-I didn’t sue though) that wouldn’t have occurred if she handled her liquor better in the first place.

Just so, you know, despite the fact that the police were called to Merriman’s home on the night in question, and charges laid against him, those charges were eventually dropped and Tila ended up looking like a bigger joke than she does a slut, and at the end of the day, she became the object of much ridicule.

Now she wants to get even, and in an effort to do so, she has filed a lawsuit against Merriman, who is claiming that the only thing he is guilty of is keeping her from going out into the street in the inebriated state she was in at the time, something about her hurting herself and his responsibility to her given that she pretty much drank herself into oblivion in his home.

I always thought that he was trying to put Tila into a taxi, that he wasn’t trying to keep her from leaving, at least that’s the story I heard when the news first broke. Oh well, it doesn’t matter, just as long as the truth comes out, and Tila winds up sticking it to herself instead of Merriman.

By the way, I am actually surprised that Tila even remembers what went down that night, given that she was apparently way too drunk to go home alone.

Anyway, as it stands now, Tila is accusing Merriman of assault, battery, false imprisonment, and emotional distress. Like how f***ing funny is that. I’m sure a judge will find Tila’s lawsuit a little bit funny too and toss it out.

Tila is seeking unspecified damages. In other words, it’s more about getting even for the embarrassment she thinks Merriman caused her, and the money thing is merely a bonus, gravy if you will.

You’re a f***ed up woman Tila Tequila.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, HA! Too bad for Chris “I’m Gonna Kill You Bitch” Brown

It seems Brown, who smacked the shit out of his ex-girlfriend Rihanna earlier in the year after she pushed the wrong button, is none to pleased that his ex-f*** buddy is shooting off her mouth about what went down in their relationship, and that vicious beating he laid on her earlier in the year.

Something about him wanting to keep the specifics of the beating a private matter.

Aah yeah Chris, like that is going to happen, you knob.

LMFWHITEAO. Like are you kidding me Chris Brown, the moment the police became involved, your privacy was like history buddy.

A male celebrity pays that price when he rearranges the face of his girlfriend or wife. You are no different.

Yeah man, IT REALLY SUCKS TO BE CHRIS BROWN these days, doesn’t it.

Rihanna airing their dirty laundry, like hey it looks good on him.

Rihanna: Chris Brown ‘had no soul in his eyes’

I parade around the house naked sometimes, but never when the kids are home.

The biggest windows in our home look onto a busy canal, and you know what, there is little doubt in my mind that a boat hasn’t gone and somebody hasn’t gotten an eye full, maybe.

I’m not an exhibitionist, pervert or anything like that, but I like making my wife laugh, and me dancing and prancing around the house nude, makes her laugh. Little, I mean big things, amuse small minds, not that my wife has a small mind or anything like that.

So anyway, it’s not a big deal, and no, nobody has ever called the cops on me for parading around in my house naked, and just for the record, I do not stand in front of windows without covering up my privates, but I do walk around the back garden in my boxers. That’s okay isn’t it?

Eric Williamson is getting a raw deal. He’s in his kitchen at 5:30am, making coffee, and a woman and child walk by his home. Guess what happens, the woman looks through a window, sees the naked Williamson, and promptly calls the police complaining that a man is exposing himself. He’s arrested and charged with indecent exposure.

Aah, earth to f***ing bitch-bag, like isn’t there a law about peeping in Virginia?

Like how stupid is this criminal case and the woman who brought it on? I wonder how many times she has walked around her home in the nude, startling the f*** out of her neighbors and passers by. Did they call the cops on her?

Next, the woman will be calling the cops on high schools students for showering in the nude and strutting around the change room after participating in a sporting event, like football or something like that.

And what about the cops, how many of them parade around the change room at their precinct after having a shower when their shift is done.

The woman that called the cops on Williamson; she needs her head examined. And another thing, “What the f*** is she doing walking around the streets at that time of the day and looking into people’s homes anyway?  She’s a sick woman, that’s what I think.

Lindsay Lohan Should be Busted for Contributing to Delinquency of Minors

If ever anybody was looking for a reason to bust Lindsay Lohan again, her admission that she parties with her 15-year-old sister Ali, you know parties with alcohol (what other kind of party is there for Lindsay), is reason enough for cops to slap the cuffs on her and haul her sorry ass off to jail.

If it was anybody else (a nobody like me for example) who was serving up those kind of party favors to a minor and bragging about it like Lindsay is, cops would be all over me like flies to shit.

Somebody needs to shut Lindsay down before she ends up killing her sister, that’s what I say, and the sooner somebody does that, the better off Ali is going to be.

Seriously, if Lindsay wants to brag about getting her sister drunk, then she should suffer some serious consequences not only for her big mouth, but also for plying her sister with alcohol, and don’t anybody think for one minute she isn’t doing that from time to time.

You know what really makes me laugh though, that Lindsay would even shoot off her mouth about something like this, what with her ‘rehab issues’ and of course that judge last week telling her to get serious. Like what is f***ing wrong with the skanky chick anyway? Does she like have no common sense, morals and values whatsoever?  I don’t think so.

SERIOUSLY, SOMEBODY ARREST THIS  FATAL ACCIDENT LOOKING FOR A PLACE TO HAPPEN

So do you like listening to funny shit or what? If you do, you are going to love RiffTrax.com. If you’re into ‘WHACKO”, well the guys at Rifftrax are into some funny shit man.

RiffTrax – We don’t make movies, we make fun of them!

Friday sucked big time for Lindsay Lohan. It sucked so much that she is probably going to barricade herself in a room somewhere in her house and drink her ugly face off, after a judge told her that she was extending her probation on drunken driving and other criminal charges by another year.

Shape the f*** up linsane one!!!

Judge Marsha Revel also told ‘the linsane one’ to get serious about her rehab after she caught wind that the fully-loaded star of the last Herbie the Lovebug movie failed to attend rehab sessions in a timely manner.

In other words, Ms. Lohan just didn’t give a shit about complying with her probation order, that she felt she had better things to do, like party all the time when she wasn’t working on what few projects she has been able throw her useless self into.

Shout out to Lindsay’s dysfunctional daddy

“Mr. Lohan, Samantha Ronson isn’t, nor has she ever been, doing what is in the best interests of your daughter, so I have no idea why you would tweet her a thank you for looking out for your whacked out daughter. You’re an idiot mate.”

Apologies to Tina Fey

I always thought she played for the other team. I came to my senses after hearing that she said she lost her virginity to a man, the man she says she is going to marry, the man who fathered her child.

I really did think she was into women only. I even thought that she might have ‘gotten into’ Lindsay Lohan after filming wrapped on Mean Girls.

Thinking about it, maybe she is into playing for both teams. How lucky would that make her future husband, if of course, she lets him play too?

You know what I find funny about Phil Spector beside the way he looks in prison, the fact that he  says prison is driving him insane. Earth to Phil; you were insane before you were thrown inside prison to begin serving you life sentence for murdering that B-grade actress Lana Clarkson, you idiot.

Prison making him insane. That is really, really funny coming from a guy that looked and behaved like he was insane long before he was ever convicted of Clarkson’s murder. Who does he think he is kidding, and is this just another one of his ploys to get out of prison?

Nothing like playing the ‘mental health’ card to try and get a ‘get out of jail free’ card, huh you moronic looking little slime-ball?

He’s insane alright, but it has nothing to do with the fact that he is in prison. His insanity is due mostly in part to his hard partying ways back in the day when he was just a violent non-killer of those who weren’t on the same page as him so to speak.

Spector addressed his concerns about what prison life was doing to him in a letter to a fan that appeared on the pop culture website Gawker. In that letter he says, and I quote, “This 24/7 lockdown life is slowly driving me insane and killing [me].

Message to Spector: Well boof***inghoo for you, that’s the way it should be. You weren’t given a holiday buddy, you were sentenced to prison for murder, a place where thousands of inmates just like you lose what is left of their mind every year. You are not unique in that regard convict.

He also complains that he was never able to say goodbye to anybody, and that he found that cruel in what is supposed to be civilised society.

LMFAO, are you kidding me, he had more than enough time to say his goodbyes, not only that, he is allowed visitors while he is in prison, right? I’m sure he can say his goodbyes then, but then again he might be referring to the fact that he wasn’t allowed to f*** his beautiful young wife before they locked him away for what is potentially the rest of his life.
“Bugs live more civilised beneath their rocks,” he writes.

Another message to you convict: Aah yes, in your world they probably do, but at the end of the day you have nobody to blame but yourself for the circumstances you now find yourself in. Karma has surely come back to bite you in the ass, hasn’t it?