Convicted Celebrities | Confessions of a Canadian Stripper

Lock the F**ker Up and Throw Away the Key

Rapper TI has been busted again.

I guess Clifford Harris just isn’t getting the message, that last stint in jail on federal weapons charges doing nothing to convince the dumbf**k to change his ways.

TI has been charged with felony possession of a controlled substance (Ecstasy) after LA cops pulled him over for making an illegal U-turn. They also smelled marijuana in his luxury ride.

TI by the way has only been out of jail for 9 months. Confessions reckons he’s another DMX.

Cocaine charges levelled against America’s most annoying socialite. Confessions not surprised by this turn of events in this American socialite’s life. Can you say, ‘more jail time,’ ya dumb f**king blonde?

Smoking crack was she, officer.

How proud the wannabe hotelier’s parents must be of their daughter today, not that Richard and Kathy Hilton give a flyin’ f**k about what their ‘silver-spooned kids’ get up to these days.

We at Confessions (yeah there’s more than 1 contributor at this ‘gossip website‘ believe it or not) really think that Paris Hilton is one f**king stupid girl, and that this time she should be forced to make the same trip as Lindsay Lohan has been on of late, that one that started with cocaine possession, then carjacking, repeated probation violation and her obvious snubbing of authority.

The recently ‘released from rehab” Lilo, Lindsanity, former convict or whatever you want to call her, she went to jail for that shit, and she spent three weeks behind bars. Rightfully so I might add, but has she learned her lesson. Probably not, but you never know.

Who can forget the Paris Hilton circus of a couple of years ago? She spent three weeks behind bars, but today it has become quite apparent that the words she uttered on Larry King Live–well IT WAS BULLSHIT, wasn’t it Paris?

What she said–’My experience has made me re-evaluate the role partying plays in my life.’ ROFLMFAO.

The ‘It’ girl, the celebrity who is only good at being famous–nothing more, nothing less, is headed back to jail–I’m sure of it. This time though, she might just spend a few years in a federal penitentiary. The cocaine charge she added to police file could see her locked up behind bars for up to four years.

WHAT A  STUPID, STUPID, GIRL!!!!!  SHE DESERVES TO BE LOCKED UP, IF ONLY BECAUSE OF HER STUPIDITY.

Irrelevant to the latest goss surrounding the woman Lady Gaga wants to kick the shit out of, and not that Confessions really cares; what d’ya reckon that if every young Hollywood celeb was pissed tested right f**king now, that more than half of them would end up with a positive test for cocaine, marijuana and other illicit drugs?

Seriously, Confessions believes that the  young f**king shit in Tinseltown right now are working overtime in the ‘recreational drug’ department, that Paris Hilton, the washed up Mischa Barton and of course Lindsay Lohan, is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to celebrities doing that party thing Paris told a national TV audience she was re-evaluating.

SURPRISE, SURPRISE–the socialite says that the cocaine in found in her designer bag isn’t hers, that it belongs to somebody else. Umm aah-ha Paris, that’s what all the dumb celebrity bitches say when they are busted for having drugs on their possession. That’s right, she’s a drug mule for her friends. LMFAO–drug mule, that sounds about right. Given her history with drugs and the kind of attention that is paid to her, like yeah man, she’s going to offer to carry drugs for somebody else. She is that dumb though, and IT’S NOT A LAS VEGAS ACT, her dumbness I mean.

How it all went down you might be wondering. Who the f**k knows and how many stories will we hear about  it before Paris hears the clanging of her cell door one or two years from now.

You know how this arrest is going to play out don’t you; courtroom drama after courtroom drama, constant attempts to keep her from having to do more time. It’s gonna be another circus, and it could take a couple of years to play itself out.

According to the latest goss, a cop in Las Vegas could smell something being burned in a car Paris was riding in late Friday night, and they stopped it. It was during that stop that a cop found some drugs on her,  a drug that turned out to be cocaine after it was tested.  The cops arrested Paris and the driver, both of whom have since been released.

Paris smokin’ crack? Really? No f**king shit. Rehab now Paris, you know, for the sake of appearance and before your next appearance in front of  thatLas Vegas judge you have a date with?

The male driver was arrested on charges of driving under the influence of drugs and Paris has been charged with cocaine possession. She says the purse the cocaine was found in, the one she was carrying, wasn’t hers. There were only two people in the car the cop pulled over, the male driver and Paris. It’s about the cocaine Paris, not the purse you were carrying you ID in.

Well, that’s her f**king story and she is going to stick to it.

FYI-they are a lot tougher on celebrities in Las Vegas, just ask OJ Simpson about that.

LMFAO again–arrested at the World Cup in South Africa on suspicion of possessing marijuana, and then there’s that recent incident she was involved in aboard a private jet, something involving sniffer dogs I recall. That story was buried as fast as it was told though, so the circumstances surrounding aren’t as clear as the circumstances in this latest Paris faux pas.

She’s going to jail–AGAIN! Looks f**king good on her, doesn’t it Lady Gaga?

Lilo Takes 12 Steps Out of Rehab

Umm, she was forced into rehab for how many days, ninety wasn’t it, and today just three weeks into that ninety-day stint, she’s a free woman. Hmm, that addiction thing she had going for her, you know, the cocaine, the marijuana and the prescription drugs–like that was an ongoing thing for a few years before she was ordered into rehab this last time, right?  So how many of the 12 steps did she learn during her three-week holiday, enough to keep her clean, sober, from behind the wheel of car and keep her out of trouble on the streets? I highly f**king doubt that, and that million-dollar paycheck she was apparently offered for her exclusive story, like that will keep her in ‘the party life’ for a while, right?

There is no way that two-three-years of addiction and her out-of-control life is back in check less than two months after she was hauled off to jail for probation violations and then forced into rehab.  It doesn’t f**king work like that. Just so you know, Confessions doesn’t think 90 days in rehab was enough for her either. We’re talking about a young woman who as far as ‘the experts’ are concerned, would merely ‘jump through the hoops’ for appearance sake.

There is nothing sincere about Lindsay wanting to get her life on track, and she certainly isn’t going to let anybody help her achieve that end either.  She’s her own train wreck and she isn’t about to let anybody tell her how it’s going to be, the fact that she ended up in jail in the first place proof of that.  She’s her own worst enemy and at the end of the day….

Let’s just say I give it six months before she is back in the headlines for all the wrong reasons again, and another 6 months before she finds herself back behind bars.

Lindsay is far from overcoming the issues in her life.  Cutting her some slack as far as the court-ordered stint in rehab isn’t conducive to her recovery and while relapses are to be expected, you have to be in recovery mode to experience those relapses. Lindsay is far from being in recovery mode. The party in her hasn’t been stopped…it was just impeded by authority.  Party on Lindsay.

Daddy’s little girl pulls a ‘Lindsay Lohan’ by violating probation order. Will Montana wind up behind bars one  day?

Far f**king out man, it seems that Montana Fishburne was busted for prostitution in Hollywood last November and was placed on probation for two years.

One of the conditions of her probation is that she must not offer to engage and not engage, in any form of sexual activity for money. That would mean making sex videos for cash too I think.

That condition must have slipped her mind when she entered into a deal to make a porn to ‘advance her career’ in Hollywood.

Stupid, stupid girl.

I wonder how much she was paid for wilfully violating one of her probation conditions, and is it enough to cover any potential legal fees she might have to pay if the she ends up before a judge for breaching her probation order.

Daddy Larry must be real proud of his little girl these days.

Nothing is impossible

Almost  two weeks ago Lindsay Lohan did what many thought was the unthinkable, she surrendered herself to authorities to begin serving what was supposed to be a 90-day jail sentence, a consequence of her not abiding by her conditions of probation and snubbing what I think was  her  cocaine-filled nose, at authority.  The little bitch got what she deserved from Judge Marsha Revel, but no thirteen days into her sentence, she has been kicked loose and into the arms of specialists at Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center.

For the next 90-days Lindsay will have to face up to her demons and start dealing with her shit, and if her treatment program fails (actually, should she fail at completing her treatment program, right?), then Lindsay’s life on the Effed Up-List, never mind the A,  B, C, D-list in Hollywood, will pretty much be permanent.

If Lindsay f**ks this part of her life up, she’s done in Hollywood big time. She won’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of ever rescuing herself from the miserable life she has created for herself, never mind the career she has flushed down the toilet, or perhaps put up her nose.

This is stint in rehab is pretty much Lindsay’s last chance to get her life back on track.

So what are they going to do for Lindsay at the Reagan Medical Center, other than you know, push her buttons and piss her off?

Not much really, not unless Lindsay admits and takes ownership of her drug and alcohol problems, something she wasn’t able to do with other treatment programs she voluntarily checked herself into when she was trying to save her  rapidly falling career and once clean-cut image.

Yeah, her previous stints in rehab were all about making it appear as if she was doing something to get her anti-social behaviour  under control, but off course as we can see now–that didn’t f**kin’ work for her. The past 13-days in jail, and the next 90-days of rehab being forced on her, proof of how miserably she failed in previous addiction treatment programs.

The odds are stacked against Lindsay as far as how much success she has in this treatment program.  I don’t think she will be able to pull it off; not as long as her dysfunctional and delusional parents are part of their daughter’s treatment program. Nope, naah-uh, Dina and Michael, they are part of the reason why Lindsay’s life has gone off the rails. They need just as much help as their daughter needs when it comes to the “mental health department” that which treats people who are so f**king retarded they lose touch with reality when it comes to their children and their children’s siblings.

I know somebody like that, a woman who is so far removed from reality, she has to make up shit in her head to compensate for what I think she says is her bi-polar disorder. Lol, that’s too f**king funny and another story for another day. Perhaps that story will one day appear on Crooked in Canada’s blogspot website, a site that until now has sat idle for the past couple of years. I have quite a little repertoire of stories I have been working on for the past several years, and all of them have to do with my childhood, something about growing up in what one shrink called an abusive and dysfunctional household .

No suppressed memories conjured up though. Like I said, that’s another story. Oh yeah, the story I could tell if I chose to right now, but…

So anyway, for the next three months Lindsay will have to focus on what her treatment providers set out for her, but not before she admits to having a problem with meth, alcholol, prescription medication and maybe cocaine. She will have to face her demons, deal with a lot of shit she would otherwise choose not to deal with if she was out on the street.  The toughest part of Lindsay’s jail sentence is just beginning, and while I would like to see her overcome her demons, I have my doubts, especially if her mother and father are part of their wayward daughter’s treatment plan.

Lindsay Lohan’s New Sentence: Rehab
Lohan’s not addicted to meth-lawyer

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