CG's File | Confessions of a Canadian Stripper

200-Million Dollar Deal Struck Between Sony And The Estate Of Michael JacksonDwe

MJ’s estate cashes in big time

If anybody ever had any doubt that in death Michael Jackson is worth more than when he is alive, let those doubts be erased with the 200 to 250-million dollar deal  Sony and the executors of his estate have worked out.

A quarter-of-a-f***ing-billion dollars–can you believe that?  Prince Michael, Prince Michael and Paris are going to have a good, good life without their whacked out father around. Now if only they could keep their aunties, uncles, grandma and grandpa from controlling them and leading them through what could a lifetime of unimaginable wealth and the bliss that comes with that wealth.

Cool Kids at Karmaloop

It’s not as if they can’t afford to buy a “new family”, right?

Media reports are saying that from this point on, at least for the next seven years anyway; Sony has the distribution rights for everything Wacko, including computer video games, multimedia platforms, music, theater and future film releases.

The deal is the most lucrative one on record, one in which the late singer’s heirs will share in at least $200-million and will no doubt cause some rifts between them in the future.

3D Avatar Game for Free. Be Your True Self & Explore a Free Virtual Paradise Fantasy Community–Click Here

FYI-Since his death last year, 31 million MJ albums have been sold worldwide. According to some people in the know before this deal with Sony was struck–his estate had already raked in close to $250-million in sales from his music, merchandise and tickets to the concert movie “This Is It”.  Add that money to this Sony deal and like wow, MJ’s estate rings up a half-billion dollars, and in less than a year.

Of course, with that, kind of money comes greed, and I don’t think there are too many people on this planet who will disagree with Confessions when he says, “Hey, there is going to be some nasty story lines coming out of the Jackson family for many, many years to come. Generations of Jacksons are going to be caught up in some pretty nasty shit when it comes to this estate, what with the amount of income it is going to generate for decades to come. Just you wait and see.”

1 million women looking for hot sex–Click here

So like do they like deliberately dumb themselves down, or does it come natural to them…

Celebrities say the stupidest, goddamn things sometimes, and today Confessions thinks it’s a good time to share some of the most memorable ones from those who make a living,  living in a world of make believe and lalaland.

Sarah Jessica Parker on Twitter: “Is there a point? I really mean this because I’ve never been on Twitter and I don’t understand it – I’m not saying that in a negative way, I really don’t understand it. Is there any point at which you say goodnight? Do you actually say, ‘I’m going to bed now?’?”–She really doesn’t have to work too hard at being stupid. She certainly doesn’t have to fake it, that’s for sure. AIN’T THAT RIGHT, MATTHEW BRODERICK?

Christina Aguilera–”So, where’s the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?”—LMFAO, how about south of your waistline, Canoe Valley I think it’s called, ya dumb broad? Dumb as she is sometimes, Confessions would do her.

Britney Spears–”The cool thing about being famous is travelling. I have always wanted to travel across seas, like to Canada and stuff.”–Um, she must be referring to the Great Lakes when she says, “Seas,” right.

Paris Hilton–”Wal-mart… Do they, like, make walls there?”–No Paris, it’s a store inside Wally World.

Mariah Carey–”My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me? I’m tan, I guess.”–Confessions is sure she meant to say tanked.

Victoria Beckham–”I don’t know much about football. I know what a goal is, which is surely the main thing about football.”–Obviously, this WAG pays attention to what her husband does for a living, huh.

David Beckham–”I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don’t know into what religion yet.” –Like WTF man, both him and his wife make Poms look really f***ing dumb, don’t they?

Jonathan RossOn Heather Mills: “I wouldn’t be surprised if we found out she’s actually got two legs.”–Aah yeah, and Confessions wouldn’t be surprised to found out you cooked your brains smoking banana peels, ya knob.

Brooke Shields–”Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.”–She obviously found her ex-husband Andre Agassi’s stash of mind numbing drugs.

Jessica Simpson-”Is this chicken that I have or is this fish? I know it’s tuna but it says chicken by the sea…”–You should have seen her face when she was reading the label on that can of frozen juice concentrate she was going to mix up for her vodka. She was “concentrating” so hard, her eyes damn near popped out of her head, according to her ex-husband Nick “The Dick” Lachey anyway.

Russell Brand–”Even as a junkie I stayed true [to vegetarianism] – ‘I shall have heroin, but I shan’t have a hamburger’. What a sexy little paradox.–So his stupidity is what Katy Perry really sees in him, right?

Madonna–”I won’t be happy till I’m as famous as God.”–She meant to say Kabbalah Allah I think. F*** she’s so narcissistic.

Visit AshleyMadison.com Today!

Kate Moss–”Nothing tastes as good as being skinny feels.”–Spoken like a true junkie.

Katie Price aka Jordan–”All I’ve ever really done is Page 3 in The Sun, and not every man reads that.”–Huh? Obviously, she should have done something to enhance her brains before she did her tits.

Peter Andre aka Jordan’s ex–”I’ve written this song called Insania – it’s a mix of Insane and Mania, and even though it’s a made up word you instantly know what it means!” How’s this for a made up word, ‘ref***tard’. Need I translate for you?

Lady Gaga–”When you make music or write or create, it’s really your job to have mind-blowing, irresponsible, condomless sex with whatever idea it is you’re writing about at the time.”–Hmm, and to think there are people on this planet who truly believe that this woman isn’t doing drugs of any kind, and never has. I’m thinking she’s half-cooked or half-baked when she strips down and gets on all fours to beg somebody to write songs for her.

Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger aka The Terminator–”I think that gay marriage should be between a man and a woman.”–Yeah, I can see people living with Perez Hilton marrying Ellen DeGeneres instead of him marrying the girly boys from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.  Makes sense Aaanold.  Good call.



World's Largest Webpage

Feldman on Haim–Where were all these people when he was alive?

So WTF is up with Cory Feldman, is he really that desperate to become relevant in the world again that he has to chat up Cory Haim’s life up until he died?

Like could he be the male counterpart to Casey Johnson’s Tila Tequila?  Aah yeah, the way he has been carrying on after the Canadian actor’s death, you could be forgiven for thinking that yeah, he’s using the death of his close friend for PR reasons–to get a little bit of that spotlight that is shining down on Haim in death for himself. That’s what I’m kinda thinking, but he’s probably being sincere in his comments about Haim in life and death I suppose.

You know, some people might be thinking he should just shut the f*** up really, but if he wants to you know, talk up how others didn’t give a shit about Haim before he died and now they are pretending to, then I say all the f***ing power to him. Go on Cory Feldman; paint all those people who are saying wonderful things about your friend Cory now as bad people who are only putting on a show for the sake of getting some good PR.

Cool Kids at Karmaloop. Click here

Say Mr. Feldman, what’s that I see in my crystal ball–hmm, is that a rope hanging from the ceiling I see some straight razors on the side of the tub. Just kidding mate, but there are a lot of people who are thinking you’re suicidal buddy, not that that has anything to do with the “Haim story”.   Oh wait, there’s like a dozen bottles of pills it looks like, over there by that half-empty bottle of bourbon. Mr. Feldman, you’re future after Haim isn’t looking so bright. Just giving you a heads up buddy.

Last night Feldman went on Larry King Live, and like Confessions already said just moments after he learned Haim was dead, he asks, “Where were all these people for the last 10, 15 years of his life,” in reference to those celebrities who are crawling out of the woodwork now, offering their condolences and sympathies fettered among praise for his work and while saying what a wonderful guy he was.

Like I agree Feldman. F*** celebrities are so phony sometimes, especially when they think they might be able to score some brownie points by coming out and offering kind words  about somebody who has died to paint themselves out to be a better person than some people might think they are. YOU HEAR WHAT I AM F***ING SAYING ASHTON KUTCHER, ALYSSA MILANO ET AL?

F*** there were a lot of gushing with praise for Haim in Twitter, and you know what, most of them couldn’t have cared less about him when he was alive. Like what’s that tell you about people earning a living in Hollywood? YA BUNCH OF F***ING PHONIES!

Everybody and their lap dog has something nice to say about Haim now that he is dead, but like Feldman asked on LKL, where were they 10, 15 years ago, nobody was reaching out to him to say to him that he was a legend, an amazingly talented, wonderful person who’s really never gone out of his way to hurt anybody other than himself?

Yeah, that’s what Feldman said on LKL. He went on further to say, “You see all these people making great statements and I hope they’re all there for the memorial and I hope they are all there for the funeral, but where were those people during his life?”

Secrets Of The Dead Collection Available At Shop Thirteen–Click here

When it comes to Cory Feldman, Confessions doesn’t think that he is any better than anybody else, but at least he was there for Haim during some of the tough times, no matter how limited his paying attention to his mate’s problems might have been.

At the end of the day though, there is no way in hell that he is even comes close to being as fake with his concern and grief  as the many, many celebrities are being with their condolences for Haim.

He certainly isn’t anything like Tila Tequila was when it comes to the thunder she tried to steal surrounding the death of somebody who was supposed to be her fiancée, Casey Johnson–heiress to a fortune.

CELEBRITIES ARE F***ING FAKE PEOPLE! Somebody go out their way to reinforce that to Feldman.

Add this ugly bitch to Confessions’ “Celebrities I Love Hate List”

You know, I still can’t figure out what Matthew Broderick sees in his wife, why in the f*** he decided to marry her. He must have been in a state “other than normal” when he made that call.

So what’s the deal with that broad Sarah Jessica Parker, what makes people think that she has great taste when it comes to fashion, and that she’s a beautiful looking woman?  Like are you kidding me on the “beautiful looking woman” part, because from what I saw of her on the red carpet at the Oscars last night, either her hair was pulled back so tight that it lifted her face up over her forehead, skin skewing and twisting around her nose and brow, or, somebody put her face in a vice and twisted the f*** out of it with a pair of pliers.

There is nothing good that I can see when I look at Matthew Broderick’s better half, and if it is true what they say about him cheating on her–then I can’t say as I blame him for doing that. SHE’S SO F***ING UGLY, AND A REAL BITCH TOO I BET.

Celebrity Wedding Dresses at Light In The Box–Start from $159.99

The other thing is what makes people think that this woman is a good actress, because she isn’t and never was. I don’t know what it is her admirers and those who praise her  to no end see in the ugly looking thespian, but at the end day no matter how many after party cocktails I have, she ain’t going to get any better looking than she is, and no I wouldn’t f*** her if you’re thinking I would.

There is nothing special about Sarah Jessica Parker, never was, but people are going out of their way to paint her like she is “all that”, and to be honest with you, I’m totally baffled by those that think that she can act, has good fashion sense, and is good looking.  The other thing is I feel sorry her husband. Like imagine any man having to wake up every morning for the rest of his life and seeing that ugly looking thing first thing in the morning. You know what, I bet he doesn’t f*** either.

Cheap CDs, DVDs and Games at Second Spin–Buy and Sell

Seriously, how many public toilets has this party animal’s head been in?

She looks like she crawled out of a toilet bowl, therefore she must stink like she does, and then there is that Parfuma de Jack she swims in. I don’t hold out much hope that Ke$ha is going to have anymore success than she has already had–in fact, she is stumbling off the radar while I am writing this, though we are probably going to have to put up with her immaturity and nonsense for a little while longer, because I’m sure she might have one or two singles still waiting to hit the “big time” as far as radio play goes.

Congrats, on the success of her debut album Animal, but that’s about as far as her success is going to go if she doesn’t get off the booze, grow up, something I don’t think she has it in her to do. She’s another Courtney Love when it comes to the excesses of partying, and look where that has gotten Courtney, who I hear by the way, wants to take Ke$ha under her wing, kind of guide her through her career. LMFAO at the prospect of that.




Find Hot, Cashed Up Single Men and Women at Sugardaddy

The latest goss regarding Ke$ha– apparently she has a spiritual side and is carrying a placenta around her neck. That’s right; the singer who doesn’t want people to take her lyrics seriously and wants to suck on John Mayer’s white supremacy is carrying around what is probably a very smelly stinky part of a pig’s uterus, something about it giving her the ability to see things that she normally wouldn’t see as being there.

LMFAO–isn’t the alcohol and drugs doing that for her?  Dumb f***ing bitch.

Say, can you say, “Billboard for STDs and chronic liver disease?” If you can’t, just carry a picture of Ke$ha with you.

Energize an event and create some buzz with custom made temporary tattoos for adults who want to act like kids at sporting events or where ever–500 tatts for less than $US69.