Honours And Awards | Confessions of a Canadian Stripper

Winners, Assholes and Chicks with Big Butts

Posted August 11th, 2010 by CG

What a f**king idiot Brody Jenner is for thinking that anyone would believe the letter ‘A” he shaved into the side of his wood-burning head was a tribute to his Canadian shag Avril Lavigne.  The truth is it’s a tribute to assholes like him.

Like Confessions has already said, “What a f**king idiot!”

The woman in the photo below won American Idol, beating out Jennifer Hudson for the title on season three. Since then she hasn’t amounted to too much while Hudson won an Oscar for her performance in Dream Girls, and has had a not too shabby music career.

Fantasia on the other hand hasn’t been able to turn her Idol win into much.

There’s her autobiography, Life is Not a Fairy Tale, which didn’t turn out to be the cash cow she thought it would be, though there’s always the hope that it might be turned into a movie.

Her father by the way, he tried to cash in on that, suing his daughter for US$10-million, something about his daughter saying unflattering things about him in that book.

Now the failed ‘whatever she f**king should be after winning Idol’ is making headlines because she tried to end her life. Was her prescription medication overdose attention getting, or maybe she’s for real and she wanted to kill herself because she couldn’t handle the attention her being a home wrecker is bringing her.

Paula Cook is married to the man Fantasia is spreading her legs for and it was Ms Cook who took Fantasia’s home wrecking ways to the media.

Confessions reckons that book  Life is Not a Fairy Tale is going to be adapted for the silver screen, now might be a good f**king time to do that, though others will say, “No way  man, let’s wait until the bitch is dead.”

Fantasia, you are the ‘maker of your own fate’ baby. Sucks to be you.

Mel Gibson’s 91-year-old father Hutton has spoken out against ‘pedophile sympathizer Pope Benedict XVI‘ and the Vatican, claiming that the only reason (and I’M PARAPHRASING HERE!) the Pope hasn’t done much to reel in the fairies, you know, the gay priests; is because he’s one himself, that the German pope might even be a pedophile himself. I reckon Hutton might be right that the Pope is a slippery character, that he is full of hate and ignorance and might be trying to rewrite the ‘rules of the Catholic Church‘.

One thing is certain, the whole world–those of us not sleeping under a rock or living in la la land, know that there are a lot of ordained child molesters and homosexuals who the Pope is more likely to jump between the sheets with them rather than see the child molesters convicted for their crimes and locked up behind bars, and the gay priests ex-communicated. Yeah, Hutton might be right about the Pope being ‘one of them’.

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Jennifer Lopez has landed the title for having the most famous booty in the world. Wondering how many times, ‘the boys’ from ‘her hood’ have put their junk in her trunk. Beyonce came in second, while Kim Kardashian and Shakira tied for third. Rapper Ice-T’s wife Coco finished fifth.

Arabian beauty Rima Fakih knows how to win a stripper contest too


Miss USA Tara Conner created controversy after winning the pageant crown in 2006. Something about her being admitted to rehab to deal with her vices, or whatever, but it wasn’t a sex addiction.

Katie Rees was dethroned after lewd photos of her were uncovered. Like who cares about lewd photos, it’s not like she was wearing the Miss USA crown at the time, right Mr. Trump?

2009 runner-up Carrie Prejean offended Perez Hilton when she dismissed same-sex marriage and we all know the headlines that followed that bullshit, Prejean getting most of the flack while Perez fired off lewd and crude insults at her from behind a computer screen.

Now it’s Miss Michigan who is creating controversy, only in her case it’s total f**king bullshit being created by morons with too much f**king time on their hands.

Less than 24 hours after Rima Fakih of Detroit was crowned Miss USA, stories are circulating about how she won a student strip-tease competition in 2007, the Mojo in the Morning Stripper 101 pageant.

For her victory, she was awarded jewelry, gift cards, sex toys and a stripper pole for her home.

That contest is held every July by the way, so if there are any Michigan ladies that visit Confessions of a Canadian stripper who think they have what it takes to win such an accolade, you better hustle your booty on down to Mojo and enter.

Anyway, the “pageant people” are once again playing up the controversy, suggesting to Mojo that the first Arab-American to win the Miss USA title might be in a shitload of trouble for something that happened three years ago.

Apparently, they want copies of all the pictures and specifics of all that goes down at such an event.

You know what Confessies, I’m thinking Donald Trump is getting a little tired of this bullshit, and that the day is going to come real soon when the words he utters to the f**king morons he pays to run Miss USA will be, “You’re fired.”

Who could blame him; after all, it is those very people who are holding the brush that is being used to paint Miss USA contestants in a bad light. What’s bad for the contestants is bad for the brand, and at the end of the day, the Trumpster is paying good money to those who are supposed to looking out for the brand, not to court controversy.

From cnews.canoe.ca

New Miss USA won ‘Stripper 101′ contest
By QMI Agency

Less than 24 hours after being crowned Miss USA, old photos hit the Internet of Rima Fakih of Michigan sliding seductively down a pole during a Detroit radio station’s student strip-tease competition in July 2007.

Fakih, who on Sunday became the first Arab-American to win the Miss USA title, evidently competed in and won Detroit radio’s Mojo in the Morning Stripper 101 pageant. For that victory, Hollywoodgossip.com reports that Fakih was awarded “jewelry, gift cards, adult toys and a stripper pole for home use.”

“Rima was our overall winner of the best student Stripper 101,” morning show host Mojo told E! News on Monday. “We do it every July. We give away awards for the best pole dancing, the best lap dancing and the best booty shake.

“We just got a phone call from some of the people from the pageant. They were kind of insinuating to us that she could be in trouble for doing this contest … They asked for copies of all the pictures and they wanted the specifics of what happens at the event … We would hope this wouldn’t harm anything as far as her status with the pageant and the upcoming Miss Universe pageant.”

Fakih would only be the latest controversy-soaked Miss USA finalist, after Tara Conner (2006 winner who entered rehab), Katie Rees (2007 winner dethroned after lewd photos of her were discovered) and Carrie Prejean (2009 first runner-up who offended many by effectively dismissing same-sex marriage).

NBC uses feminists within network to create controversy to help boost ratings in this Sunday’s Miss America pageant

American’s make me laugh, in fact from time-to-time, perhaps even more often that they make the entire world laugh at them, what with their self-righteous way and of course that very familiar, “It’s my way or the highway attitude,” they have on the international scene.

Hey, you remember when women’s rights groups, the ones stacked full of feminists still living in the 60s and 70s went off on Sports Illustrated because of their cover of Lindsay Vonn a few weeks before the 2010 Winter Olympics took to the television airways.

NBC will be broadcasting the Miss America pageant this Sunday.

Looking back on it, I reckon NBC has a few feminists working for them and that those particular women were called upon to you know; spin some negative publicity about an elite Olympic athlete for the ratings. I kind of think that’s why there is a controversy being spun about those sexy black and white photographs of this year’s Miss America contestants circulating on the Internet, and in magazines and newspapers.

I don’t know what Confessies and Crookies think about it, but I f**king like them, so much in fact, that I have published them in Confessions of a Canadian Stripper.  They follow this article.

Anyway, the feminists need to jump off that fossilized bandwagon they’re on, and get into the 21st century if they think dressing hot looking American women in unbuttoned shirts without bras, sexy lingerie and fishnets is “objectifying” women. Like get f**king real ya “wannabe dykes” and “Nancy Pelosiists,” they are classy pics of hot looking American women with whom teenage boys are probably becoming familiar with right now, and in a multi-tasking kind of way with a box of Kleenex at hand if you know what I mean.

By the way, I could open up a department store catalogue, flip through to the lingerie section and see the same f**king thing. How come nobody is making a big deal about that?

The story

10 of those apparently “too raunchy” photos


Like what a lump of turd Ryan O’Neal is…

Not wanting to miss out on the publicity surrounding  the snubbing of his “meal ticket” by the Oscar Academy, the normally “F*** the press” Ryan O’Neal has weighed in with his two cents worth about Farrah Fawcett not being included in the “In Memoriam” segment of the Academy Awards broadcast the other night.

Before I forget, Bea Arthur was left out of that tribute too you know, but as far as I can tell, ain’t a whole lot of fuss being made about that, and this despite her contributing a helluva lot more to the entertainment industry than Farrah ever did.

So yeah, that c***sucker O’Neal is pretending to be devastated about the snub. “It was a terrible decision and very hurtful,” he said. Like get f***ing real already. Like he really gives a shit.

Then there is Farrah’s “close friend” Craig Nevius who until now, and me following Farrah’s story as much as I have been, I have never heard of. Apparently, his feelings have been hurt too. Oops! My bad, he’s outraged, so outrage in fact, he is demanding that the Academy issue a public apology for omitting “his close friend Farrah” from the video montage.

Like get f***ing real buddy–when you’re calling the shots for Oscar Night, feel free to include anybody you want in that “special segment”.  Absolutely this sad piece of shit is exploiting this controversy for a little bit of the spotlight HE WASN’T GETTING WHILE ONE OF CHARLIE’S ANGELS WAS DYING.


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Nobody is saying much about Brittany Murphy’s widow Simon Monjack getting snubbed from Oscar Parties either, not unless the person doing the talking is that f***ing little fake Perez Hilton.  He says, “Same on him for trying to slither into parties based on his deceased wife’s fame!”

Confessions to Perez, “Hey ya f***ing moron, they honored his wife at the award’s ceremony and as far as I know there weren’t any after parties honoring his wife. And, just so you know Perez, there were far better people at that ceremony who were also not invited to the Vanity Fair or any other post Oscar bashes. By the way asshole, how many Oscar parties were you invited to, more than Monjack?”

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By the way, as usual, Perez Hilton doesn’t have that story right either. He should be ashamed of himself for doing that.

Ikki Twin Update: A few days ago, I posted something in Confessions about Erica “Rikki” Mongeon being in a medically induced coma after her and her sister Vikki were involved in a motor vehicle accident.

Confessions is glad to hear that the star of MTV’s A Double Shot of Love has been brought out of her coma, an indication that she is well on her way to making a full recovery.

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She’s dead. She’s pushing up daisies. Get over it Rog.


Like WTF is wrong with people, especially that f***ing clown Roger Ebert. Who cares if one of Charlie’s Angels wasn’t included in a tribute montage to those who passed away in 2009. Left out last night at the Oscars–surely to be included next year. It doesn’t matter when it happens just as long as it happens, right?

Besides, it’s not as if she was ever nominated for an Academy Award in any of the B-Grade cinema flicks she ever appeared in, and she definitely wasn’t a box office draw.

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You know, even on television she wasn’t all that–but hey that didn’t stop her from pulling a Mischa Barton, you know, thinking you’re  bigger than the TV show that made you a household name.

Nope, while I agree her contribution to film should be acknowledged by “the Academy” I don’t think people need to blow the fact that she wasn’t included in a tribute last night, out of proportion like people like Ebert are doing today. Seriously, does it matter anyway? There’s always next f***ing year.

What has she done that warrants this “arms up in the air,” protests–Logan’s Run, Extremities, The Apostle and Dr. T and the Women. Oh yeah, what a performance she gave in those flicks, and if memory serves me well, wasn’t one of those movies supposed “her comeback role.”

Get f***ing real people, other than being a pin-up girl and one made-for-TV movie (Burning Beds), Farrah Fawcett didn’t amount to too much more than a ditzy blonde. She’s lucky that people even think she is “all that.”

Seriously, if it was left up to me–I wouldn’t have included her in last night’s tribute either, you know, that time constraint thing. She would have been expendable if there was a limit to the amount of time the tribute could run.  Like I said, there’s always next year.

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