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Playboy Model Says When She Was F***ing Tiger, He Was Not Normal

Posted February 1st, 2010 by CG

Loredana Jolie, the hottest of all of Tiger Wood’s mistresses if you ask me…

He’s in rehab not allowed to spank his monkey, choke his chicken or whatever you want to call “whackin’ off”, trying to save his marriage.

While sex addict Tiger Woods is doing that though, there’s a Playboy model who with a famous last name like Jolie, is milking her sexual liaisons with the world’s best golfer for all its worth, and trust me, this lady is definitely making a lot of shit up and telling it to anybody at the New York Post willing to part with a few thousands dollars for her tell her fairytale.

This Loredana Jolie slut, what do you want to bet that she is lying through her teeth when it comes to what she and Tiger got up to from sunset until sunrise. One of Tiger’s favorite stabs, liked watching guy on guy action while there was girl on girl action going on in the same room, like how gullible does she think people are?

The only guy on guy action Tiger would be into, being the narcissist he has been made out to be by a few of his other f***s since his “real story” broke, is the guy on guy stuff he stars in. There’s no way he would get off on watching two guys go at it, not unless he was watching a sex video of himself doing another guy. Do you understand what Confessions is saying to you?

No, this Jolie bitch is making shit up as she and Tiger Woods’ story goes along, and she is doing it for some big bucks, and of course the attention she is going to get by telling a few lies about a guy who is so far up himself, it is going to take more than what goes on behind closed doors at a sex addiction clinic to bring him back down to earth.

There is a good side to the “naked poser” though, that of which can be seen from the photograph below and at Playboy if you so dare to check it out.

Canadian Hookers Hoping To Cash In During Vancouver Winter Olympics

Thousand of hookers from across Canada are beginning to arrive in Vancouver in anticipation of cashing in big time during the 2010 Winter Olympic Games, which open on February 12, and not everybody is happy about it. Oh well, it sucks to be them huh, or should I be saying that, they might not be sucking for gold during these Winter Games?

From bored husbands to top city officials, Canadian prostitutes will be spreading their legs for them more combined hours than the total number of hours the Olympic events will actually played out. That amounts to a whole lot of money for the better looking hookers who will be plying their trade on almost every street corner in downtown Vancouver, Whistler

Some of the local hookers are not too happy about their turf being invaded by out-of-town hookers, and Susan Davis of the West Coast Co-operative of Sex Industry Professionals is one such hooker.

The fat and slutty Davis says her organized group of hookers will not be rolling out the welcome mat for the out-of-towners. According to her, prostitutes who are arriving in advance of the Winter Games are taking away business from the local hookers, and it is putting those hookers in a bit of a financial crisis.

Here’s a a f***ing thought ladies, how about be a little more creative when it comes to marketing what your momma gave you to offer, and f*** sakes, clean yourself up a little.

CG has heard that Vancouver hookers are among the filthiest in North America, never mind Canada and that when it comes to transmitting STDs…Well, let’s just not go there, because the last thing Confessions wants is for a hooker to blame him for being part of the problem local hookers are having when it comes to not be able to cash in as much as they think they will be able to during the Winter Games.

FYI-Ms. Davis says that she recently went two days without a getting a single call for her services from her clients, something she says has never happened in her prostitution career before.

Here’s some free advice for you ya fat cow, LOSE SOME F***ING WEIGHT. MAKE YOURSELF LOOK A LITTLE MORE PRESENTABLE, UNLESS OF COURSE, YOU ARE CHARGING BY THE POUND (is there a pun in there I wonder) FOR YOUR SERVICES. YOU AIN’T GONNA MAKE A LOT OF MONEY BY SPREADING YOUR TREE-SIZE LEGS FOR ANYBODY BABY.

That said, Confessions isn’t holding out much hope for Ms. Davis of cashing in big time during these Winter Games, and by looking at her (see photo above) now much be a good time for to make a career change, because if she can’t cash in spreading her legs now, it isn’t likely she will be able to cash in much after the games are over.

Happy Hookers from the UK

If you had deep pockets ladies and gentlemen, would you pay these sex-for-hire tradies to rock your world for a few hours?

These hookers aren’t Penthouse Pets or Playboy Bunnies, not that two of them couldn’t be, but CG thinks their clients might be getting a good bang for their buck. Would CG pay to f*** them, probably if he could afford it, but he wouldn’t want to spend much on that one that was in the convent.

Not that I would consider it, but who wouldn’t pay big bucks to f*** a nun who puts out. She would definitely make a shit load of money if she plied her trade from a convent, don’t you think?

Paige Ashley F***ing Her Way to Small Fortune

Paige

She’s turned her back on career in law to lie on her back, and six years after the former star student did that, she has just managed to bank more than $US600-thousand by charging up to $US40-thousand for her services. The working girl originally took up hooking to pay her way through university. She is now the proud owner of a posh London flat, sports car and new tits. She plans to keep on hooking until she has saved a million pounds, a couple of million American dollars. That’s a lot of leg spreading.

Sniezana Kobeniak Just A Little Scandalous

She’s a $US500.00 an hour escort who goes by the name Karina Storm, and she’s

Ms. Karina Storm

a bargain compared to Paige, but 10 times more hotter in CG’s opinion. The Lithuanian  is currently embroiled in a scandal having to do with Carphone Warehouse tycoon David Ross, something to do with an alleged assault at his home, and until now, has been lying low. For you women who might be getting a little moist between your thighs looking at her photo on the right, she goes both ways.

Rebecca Dakin Should Have Become a Nun

Rebecca

Her parents were of the strict-loving kind (does that mean whips and chains CG wonders) and deliberately embarked on a sleazy lifestyle to piss them off. When she was 23, she was doing her thing in a sordid Belgian peepshow. She now cashes in to the tune of $US1400.00 a night, the best bargain you will find on this website when it comes pimping out hookers. CG doesn’t think she is worth that kind of money though, not unless that covers the cost of a flag to cover her face so he can do her for his country. F*** she is one ugly whore , isn’t she?

Pimping Rihanna Would Be Profitable

Not that Rihanna would ever consider entering the world’s oldest profession

Good investment

(maybe she has), but if CG was running an escort agency or a brothel, he would definitely go out of his way to present the sexy whack job with a proposal that would be financially rewarding for both of us.

Hot looking crazy broad

There was a time when CG liked to scrap, and in fact, he was pretty damn good at fighting. Back in the day, it took more than one combatant at a time to take me down, but these days I am just too old for that shit, not that I still couldn’t handle myself. It’s just that it would take longer for any injuries I might sustain to heal these days. Know what I mean tough guys?

I tell you what though, if CG wanted to get a little rowdy, he’s thinking he would mind having former Playboy Model of the Year Louise Glover backing him up. It sounds like this girl can rough it up a little.

Just ask the daughter of 80’s musician Paul Hardcastle (never heard of him by the way–like was he big in the 80s), man did she ever find herself on the receiving of a shitkicking in the loo, and all because she looked at Ms. Glover’s the wrong way, something about an Essex girl and what Essex girls were all about.

Ms. Glover was just found guilty of assault occasioning actual bodily harm after she smashed Maxine Hardcastle’s head into a toilet at a nightclub at least 10 times, and for trying to drown her in the toilet bowl.

What a tough f***ing bitch she is huh, and definitely CG would have loved to have had her working the door and the floor in the many bars he ran back in the day. Not a bad looking broad either as you can see by the picture in this article. If you’re thinking CG would do this one too, you got that right mate.

I’d f*** her, but I’d have my guard up. No telling what she might do to me if I look at her with anything but love in my eyes and a bulge in my boxers.

Crazy bitch.

After the judge pronounced her guilty, the Amazonian sex kitten fainted, and when she came to, she launched into a tirade against the judge.

The assault occurred at the Ocean nightclub.

Ms. Glover insists she was merely defending herself after Ms. Hardcastle and another woman invited her to join them in a cubicle. Hmm, wonder what they were getting up to in there, huh.

Tara busting out

Hollywood party girl Tara Reid has said that “she is all growed up now”, that she isn’t a lounge lizard, having put that part of her life behind her, but you know what–CG is thinking that the party girl image she use to flaunt oh so publicly might be only for eyes behind closed doors these days, that her drunken and stoned ways continues in the privacy of her own home, which is cool by the way.

No way man–the skanky ho hasn’t given up her party ways by any stretch of the imagination, she has just learned to keep [it] all low key.

Good on her for coming to her senses and good on her for finally doing something about those God-awful tits she paid for a while back. Didn’t somebody botch up the boob job? You can bet her appearance in the pages of the latest smutty Playboy mag (see cover photo below) had something to do with that corrective surgery, huh.

By virtue of her appearance in Hugh Hefner’s latest issue of Playboy, CG is going to assume two things, a) Tara Reid must be really hard up for work, and b) Hugh must be desperate for models to pose in his magazine. They are the only two obvious reasons I think of a skanky ho like Tara being on the cover and on 6-pages inside the “skin” mag.

By the way, I hear the “Playboy Empire” is doing so well lately, that numbers are down.

Putting Tara Reid on the cover isn’t going to help those numbers by a long shot, whereas putting a ho like Madonna on it might sell few thousands copies, not that Madonna at 50 looks any more hotter or less wrinkly than the America Pie Reid.

You know who CG thinks would look on the cover of Playboy, the recently divorced Kate Gosselin. She could certainly use the cash, and yeah that Playboy issue would definitely sell a lot of copies.

I think it’s pretty safe to assume that Hef’s age is catching up with his business acumen as it relates to the porn industry, what with his decision to put Ms. Reid on the cover of his magazine. Like that was just a dump move. I don’t think they had to pay her a shit load of money to get to pose for photos that would be later photoshopped. I bet they paid for that corrective surgery for her titties though, that her appearing in Playboy was contingent on getting her boobs rebuilt. Maybe, maybe not, huh.

Anyway, while Hef might have a lot of money salted away for such lean times as his empire is experiencing now, I don’t think the iconic Playboy is going to be around for much longer. Playboy has been around long enough, and with the amount of soft-core porn available on the Internet these days, well let’s just say that magazines like Playboy are pretty much on the verge of extinction. Can you say fossil?

Oh and one other thing, Tara is hoping this Playboy thing is going to help get her career in Hollywood back on track. I guess what she is saying is that she wants to become a porn star, not that there is anything wrong with that.

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